And that’s a good thing.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates had it right, at least in my book. He also said, “Know Thyself.” Granted, I may overly examine but who’s to say what’s too much? I suppose I feel a reexamination is warranted every single time life slings mud at me. And sometimes my commitment is for shit, but I’ll keep on, vary the program a little and go forth. Or, take on a whole new program I think might fit me better.
Because of some recent issues, and I’ll get to those… I have to explain that during my chemotherapy for breast cancer 4 years ago I had pretty severe chemo brain and aphasia. Words and whole sentences would not come out of my mouth. I could write them but also had difficulty with my fingers (chemo-related neuropathy). Ironic, huh? It was a highly frustrating time as you can imagine. I made a deal with my partner and friends that I talked to regularly that they would wait patiently until I could spit it out, or at least give up- because sometimes those words were just not going to come out. My chemo-brain still exists but has improved over time. I still have days, several at a time usually, that those words won’t come… and it’s worse in the evening. My partner says these times seems to come around periodically. I haven’t figured out a pattern yet, maybe I’m tired, maybe there’s a lot going on. ? I’m on a 6-day’er now. Last night it was a short sentence and I tried 4 times to get that sucker out! I’m already at an acceptance phase with this issue, but sometimes like last night my eyes just tear up! I got an instant hug but let’s not forget how fearful this is. I feel like I’ve been bouncing off the walls lately, hard to focus, and it’s really bothering me. I’ve also had several illnesses in a row so feeling off emotionally too. Where that leaves me… I’m renewing some goals… and I’ll share my books with you because this is a good combination for me.
First, in the middle is the Law of Attraction Planner. This is my second year with this planner and it has enough room in it to journal if you wanted to, log your food, and every month, week, and day, you can write about your goals, gratitude, what’s working, what’s not… it has everything! On either end are two books/journals from Habit Nest. On the left is “Badass Body Goals” this is new and I’m not going to be using it with their exercise program, rather with DailyOM’s “Chair Yoga for Healing Strength and Mobility (because… hello… I have mobility issues).” On the right is The Morning Sidekick Journal “A science-driven daily planner for building positive life habits.” Habit Nest really puts out GREAT journals, they walk you through the steps in a simple way. No, I get no kickback from plugging these books. These are simply what works for me. Could be you’ll like them too. I got all three on Amazon.
You see, goals are vital. Growing, changing is essential to life, and moving alongside that and inviting change (and acceptance)… crucial! We keep changing until we die, might as well go with it!
I can’t walk a quarter of a city block. I live in the land of RA, osteoarthritis, etc. But I want to again. I want to go for a walk without pain and incapacitating myself for the rest of the day because that’s what happens. It may or may not be possible but I’m going to do what I can to help it happen. I think I can! I also know I have to start out slow. I can do that.
So here I am, needing to be more mindful in everything I do during my wakeful hours. Needing to be gluten-free again because it helps the inflammation – pain. Needing to exercise. Needing to be more mindful about journaling… or at least more thorough.
I’m not afraid of taking stock/examining where I am and how I’m doing… and adjusting accordingly. I’ll let you know how it went in a month.
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